Scotland is known for its unique sense of humor. It is a mix of sharp sarcasm and self-deprecating jokes, which makes celebrations even more enjoyable. Hogmanay is that special time when Scots around the world come together to say goodbye to the old year and welcome the new one.
If you’re looking for funny Scottish quotes to add more fun to your Hogmanay celebrations, you’re in the right place. We’ve collected 48 funniest Hogmanay quotes that are sure to make you laugh!
What is Hogmanay, Anyway?
Hogmanay is a Scottish word for the last day of the year. And it’s celebrated with more excitement than a bagpipe at a lively party! Friends and family gather to eat, drink, and have fun. The celebrations last until the early morning hours.
The Scottish Sense of Humor
To truly appreciate these Hogmanay quotes, you need to understand the Scottish sense of humor. It’s drier than a well-worn kilt and sharper than a sgian-dubh (that’s a Scottish knife, by the way). Scots have a talent for finding humor in even the toughest situations.
During Hogmanay, this humor shines brightly. Jokes about the weather? Check. Quips about resolutions that will be broken before the first hangover fades? You bet! Nothing is off-limits when it comes to Hogmanay banter.
As one Scot said, “If ye can’t take a joke, ye shouldn’t have joined!” So get ready to laugh and enjoy the unique humor that makes Hogmanay such a special occasion!
Funny Quotes About Hogmanay Tradition
First Footing
The first person to enter a household on January 1 is known as the “first footer.” It’s supposed to bring good luck, especially if the “first foot” is a tall, dark-haired man. But leave it to the Scots to find the funny side of this custom:
“I’ve been first footing for years, but I’m still waiting for my luck to change. Maybe I should dye my hair black and grow a few inches!”
“Wanted: Tall, dark, and handsome man for first footing. Must be willing to brave the cold and carry a lump of coal. Sense of humor essential, sobriety optional.”
“Last Hogmanay, our first foot was so drunk, he thought he was last footing!”
Auld Lang Syne
“Auld Lang Syne” is sung around the world, but only the Scots truly understand its emotional weight—and have a good laugh at how few people know the lyrics:
“We sing ‘Auld Lang Syne,’ but let’s be honest, no one really knows the words after the first verse.”
“I know two words of Auld Lang Syne. Luckily, they’re ‘Auld Lang Syne.'”
“Singing Auld Lang Syne at Hogmanay is like trying to recite Shakespeare after a bottle of whisky – everyone’s enthusiastic, but no one knows what they’re saying.”
“I once knew all the words to Auld Lang Syne. Then I took a drink to Auld Lang Syne.”
Fun and Cheerful New Year’s Resolutions
“My New Year’s resolution is to stop pretending I make New Year’s resolutions.”
“Cheers to another year of pretending to like kale!”
“I’m making my Hogmanay resolutions in pencil this year. It’s so much easier to erase them later.”
“This Hogmanay, I resolve to be more optimistic. But I doubt I’ll keep it.”
“In Scotland, we don’t make Hogmanay resolutions. We’re too busy breaking the ones from last year.”
“My Hogmanay resolution is to be less sarcastic. Yeah, right, like that’s gonna happen.”
“I’ve decided my Hogmanay resolution will be to procrastinate more. I’ll start tomorrow.”
“It’s so cold outside, even my resolutions are frozen.”
“My Hogmanay resolution is to stop making Hogmanay resolutions. I think I’ll actually keep this one!”
“May your New Year be full of laughter, your glass be full of whisky, and your resolutions be full of loopholes.”
Funny Scottish Hogmanay Quotes
“Hogmanay: the one night when dancing badly in public is totally acceptable.”
“Let’s party like it’s 1699—because the Scots have been doing this for centuries!”
“New Year’s Day: when we Scots pretend we’ll be less stubborn… for about five minutes.”
“A New Year, but I’ll still be complaining about the weather.”
“May your year be as long as your to-do list, and as short as your temper.”
“Start the year the way you plan to continue: with a nap.”
“Kiss me at midnight, and I’ll see you in the New Year… if I’m still awake.”
“Friends are the whisky in the glass of life—especially on Hogmanay!”
“Here’s to another year of laughs, drams, and avoiding the gym.”
“Here’s to a year as bright as the fireworks and as warm as the whisky!”
“Nothing says ‘Happy New Year’ like a sleet storm at midnight.”
Traditional Scottish Hogmanay Sayings
“Lang may yer lum reek.”
“Auld lang syne.”
“Out with the auld, in with the new.”
“Hogmanay’s a time for forgiveness.”
“Wishing you a guid New Year.”
“Raise a glass to the year gone by.”
“May your days be merry and bright.”
“Let the bells ring in the New Year.”
“A happy Hogmanay to ye!”
“May you find peace and prosperity in the year ahead.”
Also Read: “13 Must-Set New Year Goals for Unstoppable Success“
Famous Quotes to Welcome the New Year
“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” — Oprah Winfrey
“May your new year be filled with joy, peace, and love.” — Unknown
“A new year brings new opportunities. Embrace them.” — Unknown
“What the new year brings will depend a lot on what you bring to it.” — Vern McLellan
“Last year’s words belong to last year’s language, and next year’s words await another voice.” — T.S. Eliot
“Ring out the old, ring in the new, ring, happy bells, across the snow.” — Alfred, Lord Tennyson
“New year, new beginnings.” — Unknown
“Wishing you a year full of blessings and happiness.” — Unknown
“The magic in new beginnings is truly the most powerful of them all.” — Josiyah Martin
“May the new year bring you courage, joy, and peace.” — Unknown
“The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
“Every new beginning comes from another beginning’s end.” — Seneca
“May your new year be filled with sweet memories and wonderful moments.” — Unknown
“New year, new hopes, new resolutions, new joys: wishing you a very happy new year!” — Unknown
“As we say goodbye to the old year, let’s welcome the new year with hope.” — Unknown
“This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.” — Taylor Swift
“In the new year, may you have the courage to embrace change.” — Unknown
“Cheers to the year ahead! May it be filled with adventure and love.” — Unknown
“Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach
“The secret of change is to focus your energy on building the new.” — Socrates
