Hi beautiful,

Are you working towards goals today, or just procrastinating a day more?

I got you, setting goals sounds great until you actually have to do something. But you don’t have to feel bad about it, everyone needs a break. And your goals will still be there when you’re ready.

Goals are important, but so is having a sense of humor about the struggle. That’s why I’ve collected funny goal-setting quotes to laugh at your procrastination instead of feeling guilty.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy these quotes.

Funny Goal-Setting Quotes

“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott (The Office)

“My biggest fear is that when I die, my wife will sell my stuff for what I told her I paid for it.” – Unknown

“Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.” – John F. Kennedy

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

“Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.” – Parkinson’s Law (C. Northcote Parkinson)

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” – W.C. Fields

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen

“If plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters.” – Claire Cook

“Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.” – W. Clement Stone

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” – William James

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” – Bertrand Russell

“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

“I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.” – Winston Churchill

“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

“The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.” – Steven Wright

“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” – Henry Ford

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates

“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.” – P.J. O’Rourke

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A.A. Milne (as Winnie the Pooh)

“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.” – Robert Heinlein

“My goal is no longer to get more done, but rather to have less to do.” – Francine Jay

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” – Don Herold

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

“I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!” – Sam Levenson

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown

“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.” – Milan Kundera

“Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.” – Earl Wilson

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

“I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” – Marsha Doble

“My goal is to build a life I don’t need a vacation from.” – Rob Hill Sr.

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

“I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.” – Garfield (Jim Davis)